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Yoga in the Indian Epics

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  1. Hi Mason! You did a great job with this story, I will be following your portfolio in the future to see what happens next! My biggest wow moment was definitely the end! As I was reading, I thought the Ice King’s plan was foiled by Finn and that the friends were gonna get a happy ending. You surprised me with your ending and because it's been a while since we have read the Ramayana, I had to rethink the story to remember how it ended. I do love that you used Adventure Time as a way to add more comedy to the story, but is there a reason that Jake doesn’t go with Finn or was it just to add comedy? In the Ramayana, it's to keep Sita safe correct, that Rama goes after the deer alone? Also, are you thinking about incorporating a character to play Lakshmana since he was also an important part of the story? I think my “what if” suggestion would be the play the comedy up even more and exaggerate things. That is sometimes hard to do with a text like the Ramayana but I think you’ve already done such a wonderful job, that if you amplify the comedy element even a little more, it would be amazing!

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  2. Mason! I loved the this spin-off of the story that was referenced in the Ramayana and depicted as one of the classic cartoon shows when I was a kid. I used to watch Adventure Time well, all the time, so this was definitely enjoyable for me as it referenced the major epic that we are talking about in class. One of my favorite parts about this story, and I think this goes for anyone who has watched the show as a kid: you've got the dialogue and syntax of Finn, Jake, and the Ice Kind to a point. Furthermore, the fact that you incorporated the comedic aspect to the story makes it a more enjoyable read even for the people who haven't watched the TV show! However, I do hope that you do finish with the rest of the story later on. I would love to see some sort of battle between the two friends, and how the Ice King's plans get foiled in the end. Or.. does it? It might make the story a lot more interesting if the Ice King's plans ending up in fruition. Nonetheless, great work!

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  3. Hi Mason,
    I really liked your take on this tale from the Ramayana! You adapted it well to fit with the characters and plot of Adventure Time. The organization of your board looked great and went perfectly with your story. Great Job!
    The only thing I was left questioning was the setting. I think it could be a great addition to describe Finn and Jake's surroundings during the story. Where did Jake nap? How far did Finn chase the Ice King? Adding more minor details like these might really help to fully emerge the reader into the story. When I read a story, I really like to be able to picture the entire atmosphere.
    Other than that, I thought the story was great. The writing flowed well and you really made the story your own. The cliff hanger at the end really worked! I couldn't help but want to know what happens next. Keep up the great work!

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  4. Hi Mason,

    I loved getting to read your story on your portfolio about Finn, Jake, and the Ice King. I really enjoyed how you made it a "to be continued" story because you can add on or continue it with another story. The story also kept the reader engaged by making it to be continued because the plot was engaging the whole time. I think the characters you chose were a nice difference from Rama and Sita. Finn was so interested in adventure, in contrast with Jake who was laid back and disinterested. The new characters really showed your personality and creativity, a nice way to put your own twist to an older story. I wonder what will happen and who will prevail. Will the Ice King succeed in his plan or will Finn and Jake figure it out before they are separated for good? Can't wait to read the next part of this.

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  5. Hiya Mason, reading your second story, I was drawn in by the Adventure Time picture. I was very pleasantly surprised to see you took the characters into your story too! I also like the suspense you leave us in as we wait for the next story to be written. To take a very important (and serious) story from the Ramayana and make it both comical and even easier to read is quite the feat. On a side note "wider than wide" is definitely going to be a sentence I use a lot going forward. It also is a great way of explaining how Adventure Time characters react in the show. I look forward to how you continue this. Will you be going over the kidnapping? Maybe we'll get to see an Adventure Time styled fight of Rama vs Ravana! Either way, I can't wait to see where you go with it!

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